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State of Kate's avatar

Sigh, your evocative description of what is used to like almost brought a tear to my eye, I miss it so much. And I'm a woman and all my female friends always talked and acted like this too. We all did. Now, we can only do so with our spouses and an ever-dwindling and smaller circle of true friends you can trust.

This just solidifies my belief that Americans born around 1974 to 1982ish...those Gen X who were born AFTER the civil rights and women's lib movements had occurred and grew up assuming we were all equal, when Cosby Show was the reigning TV show, but before parents turned into hovering children-obsessed helicopter parents...are truly the coolest and best people. The nineties, when we came of age, were a golden era when people actually liked each other. I agree that by 2000, things had started to go too far and the first decade of the 2000s was culturally trashy. And now we have this sanctimonious, mean, nasty, spiteful, envious woke backlash happening.

I try to figure out what it was about the Gen X upbringing that makes us cooler than everyone else -- sorry but it's true. We had a sense of self worth in a very grounded and humble way. We didn't get offended and we didn't assert grievances. Today's young seem on the one hand to be INCREDIBLY insecure, anxious, envious, striving, always worrying about likes and influence and status and image and self-identity, while on the other hand they're self-important and sanctimonious and moralistic and nasty and judgmental. No one seems to actually like each other anymore, and certainly no one trusts each other. Everything is a competition of who has the most grievances (or can be the best ally to the aggrieved) and who has the most claim to oppression, who can be the snarkiest. What an enormous turnoff.

In contrast, I find Gen Xers to be for the most part stable and comfortable with themselves, yet also not of the opinion that anyone really cares enough about them for the things they say or do to be of interest or consequence. And we liked each other and had fun with each other, we truly did. We were rough and nasty and aloof and didn't have enough self-importance to get offended by anything, which came off as apathy, but it came from a place of true friendship and affection, not what I perceive today as a constant game of one-upsmanship, cloaked in moralistic high-ground.

What happened? Well, for one thing, starting in the 90s, parents starting raising kids in a much more child-centered and "soft" manner. When I was a kid we were actually scared of our parents and teachers -- and of our friend's parents too! I remember being terrified whenever my friend's dad came home from work and I'd hightail it home. That was normal in the 80s. Probably never happens today. But we also were actually steeped in an ethic of equality of the sexes and races, and believed it. So why not make everything into a joke? It was always us against the adults. We loved each other and everyone could have fun and everyone could make fun of each other.

And frankly, I think most Gen Xers find what's going on today to be stomach turning (I'm not leaving anyone out, but I think it's near universal for those in their 40s). It's just such wimpy, weak, narcissistic, self-serious, self-righteous, pathetic behavior. And it's sad. It's sad so many young women now truly view men as a class of sexual predators (unless they shirk their gender, then they're welcomed). And that so many black and other POC view themselves as oppressed people that white people secretly look down on. In the 90s, there was much more genuine affection and trust between the sexes and different ethnicities (at least in my little world).

I do blame, for the most part, a certain class of very lame and uncool women for a lot of this. They are for the most part the activists and the teachers and those working on non-profits and as professors and the HR professionals who drove much of the current woke nonsense. A world dominated by men is brutal, hierarchical, and exploitative. A world dominated by women becomes overly indulgent and governed by the tools that women have always been more adept at wielding for control and manipulation: shame, ostracism, spite, envy, and exaggerated appeals to sympathy. Perhaps its no surprise that their new demi-gods, the one group they are terrified by and won't dare to cross, are the ones who most strongly leverage the preferred tools of both men and women: big black trans women, like the two in your photo at the top of this essay. They've got the physical domination and display the aggression of men, they're still free to use cutting humor and make fun of everyone else, and they fully wield the feminine manipulative tools of victimization, grievance, and shaming. Therefore, they can't be touched and their interests are to be elevated at all times.

It will be fascinating to see where this all goes. Sadly, while I believe most Gen X view the woke stuff (as well as the right wing crazies) as revolting, we're unlikely to do anything about it. Even though we're in our 40s now and therefore should be the parents and managers in charge. I don't think our generation has enough of a sense of self-importance or power to try to will ourselves upon others or dominate them. It's just against our ethic. At my workplace at least, it's all Gen X who are the bosses now. And the Zoomers/late Millennials and the Boomers are practically at war and constantly coming to us with their respective demands, complaints, and grievances, while it wouldn't have occurred to any of us to ever make such demands. We're just trying to keep the peace.

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

I watched the recent Chappelle Netflix special, not having much experience with his comedy, only really watching because so many people I find obsessed with Race and Gender and otherwise humorless were raging at him and it. I found him and it to be very human and refreshing. That it is such a terrible thing to suggest there is something real about gender, as in, it is the fundamental basis of mammalian biology on planet earth, is to me just one more regrettable sign of how far removed from nature we have become, about as pathological as PFAS chemicals, microplastics and eternal fossil fuel consumerism. That so many transgendered and friends of transgendered hate Chapelle and this special, despite his very touching tribute to his transgendered friend and fellow comedian who killed herself because of the hate she received from the transgendered community, for her support of Chappelle, makes me wary of my support for the transgendered. That corporations generally, the medical establishment, the military and the Intelligence community have embraced transgendered/woke ideology makes me doubly wary. The empire it seems, having spread consumer ideology globally to the ruination of the biosphere, has embraced cancel culture as a means to maintain hegemony, but seems to me more a sign of civilizational collapse in the making.

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